


Asylum Insanity

by 9nuymph9



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Minor Character Death, Minor Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Lu Han, Past Oh Sehun/Lu Han, Rape, Sehun is a patient, Suho is his psychologist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 21:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11791695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/9nuymph9/pseuds/9nuymph9
Summary: Soft, melodic, like the singing of a bird midst lifeless snow covered mountains. It felt lifesaving.





	Asylum Insanity

Another day gone; another night's dawn. The weather would be getting tougher now, colder, right? Or wouldn’t it? Of course he himself wouldn’t know anymore, not having seen the sun- nor moonlight for years; not having felt the melting warmth of the summer, the light breeze of autumn, the heavy frost around New Year or rainy clouds in April for a while. Did time even continue since he last stepped outside, stepping on stubble lawn and hearing cicadas chirp in the trees around him?

Here, nothing changed; he never freezed, he never sweat; he never slept either, only sat there, in his room, on his bed and a blanket around his shoulders, only waited for the things to go their normal flow like they did for such a long time now.

And he waited; waited for the food to be brought inside his room and placed on the little table under the mirror next to him. Vegetables were never really his thing but over the years you seem to get used to the bitter nothingless that it tasted like. This would be the third meal they spoonfeeded him, before the lights dim down -like they did every day- signaling him that it was indeed almost time for at least closing his eyes.

And then he waited again; waited for the nurse that always came a little after his stomach digested all the vegetables, groaning in need to relieve himself. Said nurse came, unchained him from his bed chamber and bought him to the little bathroom on the other side of the small, now darker room. After relieving himself, letting the nurse watch with her unreadable stare, questions were to answer:

‚Yes, she could zip up his pants now, as always’

‚Yes, she could bring him back to his bed now, as always’

‚Yes, he was feeling ok, only a small headache, as always’

‚Yes, he remembered the daily visit that Dr. Kim made and Yes, he would behave and do whatever the doctor wanted, as always’

‚And No, he still didn’t remember more than he did yesterday, as always?’

 

Then he was chained on his bed again, the blanket layed heavy on his shoulders. The last noise that he heard was the rattle of the food cart out of his room, into the corridor outside of this little world; the last noise becoming fainter and fainter, then leaving him in complete, hammering silence.

 

He closed his eyes, breathing heavy; deep inhale and a deep exhale. One time; two times.. three times... four times.... five times..... six times......

........ 45th times ......... 46th times

Foot steps were heard over the hard wooden surface, the noise was coming closer and then stopped in front of the door. The clinking of keys and then the creaking of unoiled hinges brought him to his full attention.

 

„Sehun?“

Soft, melodic, like the singing of a bird midst lifeless snow covered mountains. It felt lifesaving.

 

„Sehun, I hope I didn’t wake you up“ A small shake of his head.

„I am coming a bit later then normally because I had some urgent matter to discuss. But I will make this up in staying a bit longer today if it’s alright with you“ This time a small nod.

„Let’s start the consultation right away so that we have some free time to ourselves after, ok?“ A stronger nod and the corners of his lips quirking up.

„Now you’re smiling again. This looks so much better on you than that pokerface you’re always putting on. So beautiful, just for me to see“ It was like the summer was coming back all of the sudden, because it was getting surprisingly warm and cosy around the two of them whenever Dr. Kim visited the small cell that the other was living in.

 

...

„Miss Thao told me that you still didn’t remember a thing that happened three years ago... Is that true?“ Sehun looked down, brows furrowed. Who was Miss Thao? „You told Miss Thao -the nurse that takes care of you- that you don’t remember, is that right Sehun?“ Dr. Kims voice got a bit stronger, more insistent. So that’s what the womans name was... Thao... Sehun may have heard that name before.

Warmth spread across his back as a hand layed itself on the youngers shoulder, squeezing slightly and reassuring. Oh yeah, he was asked a question. „I don’t... remember“

The softest whimper escaped Sehuns lungs as the warmth left him and Dr. Kim grabbed his papers again, writing something down. „I don’t remember anything... Never did, never will“ The doctor lifted his head up in a surprised manner; when his big, dark eyes locked with Sehuns, a smile spread on his face. „You are beginning to talk more and more each visit.. Do you have a reason for that?“

„.... Yes...“

„Which? Which reason?“

„...“

„You can tell me Sehun-ah. I know the first two years here may have been really tough for you but now I’m here and I will help you to overcome the demon inside of you! Tell me what changed your mind.“

„....“

„Do you feel more comfortable now? More comfortable here and with yourself or with me?“

„......“

„Do you regret what you did? Do you want to change?“

What should he regret? Why should he change? What should he change? What did Sehun do?

„I am sorry... I don’t want to push you-"

„You“ Kim Junmyeon seemed irritated for being cut of the first time by his patient. Never ever had the other done something like that. But curiosity was only becoming bigger and he didn’t care about the missing politeness; if you could even call the everlasting silence, that surrounded Oh Sehun (patient number OS:A0023), politeness.

„What? Me? What’s with me?“

Sehuns face was feeling warm, especially his cheeks and ears, was he getting a fever now? Even his body went crazy when the doctor was around. „You are the reason...“

Silence filled the room. It felt almost suffocating, the way both of them just looked at each other, not moving, silent, not breaking eye contact for what felt like eternity.

 

„So you don’t remember..“ The eye contact was broken. „Maybe you should try, sleeping for once. I was told that you didn’t sleep since you got here? When you sleep, your brain is able process your feelings, your memories and your deepest thoughts. It’s called dreaming, Sehun. Try doing that, maybe you will remember something yourself then.“

„Ok“ If Dr. Kim thought it was a good idea to try sleeping again, then Sehun would even try it out.

„In most of the cases, people forget what they dreamed about in less than 5 minutes after they woke up, unless they try to recall the dream right after awaking. Would you try that? Would you try remembering your dreams after? You can even write it down... or record it for that matter.. Would you do that for me?“ Why was Kim Junmyeon so persistened today.. Of course Sehun would try all that for him. He would do everything for him. Everything for Dr. Kim! Everything for Kim Junmyeon! Everything for his Junmyeon! Even murder! Wait, why would he kill? And why did this thought not sound as horrendous and wrong as they should be?

„I will talk to the responsible ones for a recording apparatus, that should be easier to handle for you and easier to tolerate for the higher ups.

Now let’s talk a bit about today shall we?“

 

...

With Dr. Kim, the time runs fast through Sehuns hands, like the finest sand through an hourglass.

...

 

„See? Wasn’t as tiring as you always think it is, right Sehun-ah?“ Dr. Kim was the only one, calling Sehun like that; everyone else didn’t even care to name him at all. Kim Junmyeon was the only one, to even acknowledge his presents not only for the most necessery times. Junmyeon was the only one to ever get closer to him than a two meter radius, since Sehun came here.

„I promised we would get some free time together, after. You know, I always keep my promises.“

The chains had been uncomfortable; the metal was removed now, finally. The gloves around his arms that were tied around his torso had been itching; their bottons were opened now and the white cotton peeled itself away under Junmyeons hands.

In moments like these, Sehuns body moved on it’s own. „Wanna touch“ It sounded raspy from the little use but Junmyeon was a psychologist, knew the patient for a long enough time and so was able to hear the lust that deepened the youngers voice.

 Sehuns arms were outstreched, fingers grabbing mindlessly in the air, in search for something to curl in. The small light, that Dr. Kim had turned on while they were talking, reflected on the smaller mans smooth skin. He was standing in front of Sehun, only some centimeters away from his reach. A tile of clothes grew as, starting from his tie and shirt, he was undressing rather slowly, his eyes never leaving the man in front of him, making the laters mouth dry and a hot feeling creepying up between his legs.

„Junmyeon“

„Sehun?“ It was less of a question and more of a call.

One step and he was finally able to feel the doctors skin under his fingers. It was hot; Sehun could feel the life rushing underneath it. His hands traveled along the lean muscle, over Junmyeons stomach, his chest and defined collarbone.

„Closer“

„What have we learned about being polite Sehun-ah?“

„Please.. Please.. Closer!“ And the older obeyed without a second thought. Now Sehun was finally able to feel more, fingertips tracing along the jaw, up to the doctors ears and soft, hazelnut brown hair that always seemed to be touseled. Spreading his legs, he tucked the male between them to be able to let his arms and mouth explore further. „Beautiful...“ A small chuckle was heared from above him when Sehun said that; it made him look up from his current position, teeth nibbling on the others hip bones. Junmyeon was holding a hand in front of his mouth, trying to hide the grin.

„Just for you. Just for you tonight, Sehun-ah“ And that was all the later needed.

 

This wasn’t the first time, their daily meet up had ended in a bizarre situation like this one, even if it was the first time that his doctor had undressed too; but Sehun could never get enough, wanted more every time.

Kim Junmyeon was the only reason for him to still be sane, or sane enough. He was the only one that kept him alive for this long, the only one who cared for him, the only one that Sehun had ever cared for, at least for what he could remember. And for now, he was all his. Fair, slightly flushed skin in contrast to the dirty walls, small height against the high ceiling, hot gaze against the cold ground under Sehuns feet. All his!

„I know you need this, Sehun-ah. We still have enough time. I trust you and you trust me too, right?“

„Yes.. I.... I trust.. you“

„Good boy“

Before Sehun could do anything else, the older had pushed him towards the bed, onto the unused sheets. The rest of the metal chains, locking Sehun to the wall above his bed, were thrown to the ground in a loud clatter, the unbearable white shirt that had tied Sehun together, was untied and thrown in the same direction. His head against the pillow, the boy layed flat on his back, looking up to the ethereal angel above, that was now undoing the youngers pants until he was fully exposed to the chilling air and roaming eyes. Now, Junmyeon was the only one, not fully naked, still wearing his briefs. In an attempt to remove them as well, Sehuns hands were slapped away, he was not worth the look yet, had never been; he was always the only one exposed, the only one getting the full attention.

But then „Be a bit more patient, Sehun-ah“

„Y- Yes, doctor“

Where Junmyeons ass cheeks had pressed down deliciously around Sehuns already hard cock, a wet tounge did it’s job now. Junmyeon bend down, still sitting on Sehuns legs, then hot and oh so filthy noises filled the tiny room as the smaller man had began to tease Sehuns dick with slow strokes and sucks and the youngers mouth didn’t even try to surpress the loud moans and pleades that his brain formed anymore. Oh how long he had waited for this! How long it had been since he felt that aroused! How long it had been since he felt something inside his heart that wasn’t complete lonelyness and boredom.

It didn’t take long for him to feel his end coming, the heat now unbearable. „I.. I..“ Nothing more than a studder before he released inside the others mouth; his hand in the curly hair had pressed down to keep the mouth still wrapped around his length even as the older choked slightly, tongue curling and teeth scraping his sensitive spots. Still in post orgasmn, Sehun let go of the hair and just layed there for a few seconds while observing the bobbing adam’s apple as Junmyeon swallowed the white, thick liquid like it was milk.

„Have you been waiting so desperatly Sehun-ah?~ To come so fast just from preparation?~“

Preparation? What for? The three times that this scenario had happened, this had been the end of it; Junmyeon would clean himself and the younger before standing up; Kim Junmyeon would dress Sehun and put on the chains and Dr. Kim would take his notes and leave the room after a small wave of his hand, leaving his patient on the bed, still not fully coming down from his high a minute ago.

The confused expression of Sehun must’ve been obvious because an angelic sound ringed towards the ceiling, a sound that the younger had recognized as Junmyeons laugh.

„Sehun-ah~“ The voice came closer until their noses were almost touching. The older male had proped up his hands on either side of Sehuns head, the smile never leaving his lips.

„You have been such a good boy. Such a behaving kid even after all this time.“ Sehuns breath hitched at the thought of what the other could’ve had in mind. „You deserve a little present, don’t you think?“ Teasingly slow and elegant, the black cotton around Junmyeons hips were pushed down his thighs and was then carelessly kicked off. The naked view was as mesmerizing as everything else about his doctor, it wasn’t as long as Sehuns but thicker, throbbing and as delicate and pink as the shorter mans lips. Sehun wanted to touch it, kiss it -because the olders lips were forbidden- and was granted to do so as well. And then, finally, Sehun was allowed to pay full attention to the others body; the sensitive skin of his lower stomach, the soft pale inner thighs and the embarassed noises the man made as the younger suddenly changed their position, strandling Junmyeons arms above his head and landing short pecks from his temple down and beginning to play with the olders nipples while his right hand had long found his way to the others dick, stroking it rough and fast.

Junmyeon didn’t resist; was that a sign?

„Doctor.... Junmyeon... I want more... Can I? Please?“ Letting go of the others wrists, Sehun swallowed the thick lump that had formed in his throat when his fantasies went too far again. „Sehun... I said this is your present. Do.. Whatever you want with it. You are allowed to, for tonight.“

Another moan came from above Sehuns head as his hand traveled further, deeper, gracing Junmyeons balls slightly before they found the clenching heat that Sehun had searched for, that Sehun had always imagined to feel, that Sehun had always wanted to please.

There was nothing to ease the pain; only the slick salvia as the younger had pushed his fingers inside Junmyeons mouth, watching with a hot gaze as the other messily sucked on them, never breaking eye contact. The man beneath Sehun had groaned out of pain rather than pleasure as one finger eased itself inside. The second and the third digit didn’t change much even if Junmyeon seemed to relax a bit now, not clenching as much anymore. „I don’t care.. I.. Now, Sehun!“

 

Everything had happened so fast, everything was still happening too fast for Sehun to understand, too fast for his likening as well. His body had reacted right after the unbelieving words had left Junmyeons mouth _‚Do whatever you want with it.’_ There were so many things that had botteled up in Sehuns body after three years of being inprisoned, after three years of the same old routine with the same old people, after two years of pure boredom and monotony and then one year of pent up sexual frustration towards a certain new doctor.

The first time, Dr. Kim had made a move like this, they had talked about pleasure, pleasing yourself to be concrete. Sehuns hands were tied up around his body, his feet and neck in chains; there was no way to do anything when you weren’t even able to move and so much, the doctor concluded. Sehun had closed the topic with that but the other seemed to have other ideas.

„A lot of times, people get pleased by others as well, you know, Sehun.“ At that time, the patient hadn’t even spoken one word to the other, not even spearing him a glance; but as Dr. Kim had moved closer all of the sudden, had even sat down next to Sehun, he was met with a scandalized look, the first emotion the younger had showed since their first meet.

_Why is he sitting next to me? Why would he risk being so close? Why does he even care?_

„I am here to help you, Sehun. In more than just one way, if you want me to.“

_What is he talking about? Don’t talk like you care about me! Don’t act like you’re not disgusted! GO AWAY! DON’T TOUCH M-_

_Pleasure._ Too much pleasure. It felt good but Sehun didn’t want it to be! What was going on?!

The small hand, that had started stroking Sehun through his pants, was warm and skilled enough. It had been so long since a feeling like that had filled the taller but younger one of them; it had been so long that he wasn’t even able to hold unto it for more than a minute, before the white hot pleasure hit Sehun square. Panting, moaning, Sehun had leaned on the others shoulder for support and continued leaning there even after his embarrassingly fast and strong orgasm passed.

„See. Feeling better? You have to feel good sometimes even in a situation like this one, especially in a situation like this one.“ Dr. Kim had motioned through the room. „You will be cleaned up shortly. I hope you take up my offer sometime, Sehun-ah. I want you to open up for me and for that we have to overcome some barriers.“ He heard footsteps, then the click of the door as it closed again. Sehun didn’t see anything, though, because his eyes were too heavy to focus. His body was still brickeling and hot, Sehun felt so heavy that his body slammed against his bed sheets almost drawing into a sleep some seconds later, almost.

 

The second sexual encounter had been similar but with a bit more touching.

The third sexual encounter had been initiated by Sehun himself, even if rather shy, and it ended up on a blowjob and Sehuns hands in Junmyeons soft curls of hair.

Every encounter, though, was followed by a heavy feeling in Sehuns head, leaving footsteps and the final click of a closing door behind Dr. Kim. And every time that had happened, Sehuns heart sunk deeper, wanted more, ached for something that Sehun needed some time to figure out. Was it love? Maybe that was a too strong word, maybe he was just feeling that way because Kim Junmyeon was the only person to ever be kind to him, not only here in prison but also before, even if Sehun only remembered bits and pieces of his childhood life.

 

 _No._ Sehun concluded now. It doesn’t matter if this is the reason for all his feelings, because that didn’t change anything.

Fondness, admiration, attraction, sexual desire, frustration, jealousy, everything he felt when he saw Kim Junmyeon or when he saw him with someone else, it was the indicator that something bigger was held in Sehuns heart and he called it love whatever his reason for it may be. He called it love because he wanted it to be.

 

„-hun? Sehun? Is everything alright? Is something wrong? Sehun-ah?“A smile spread on the younger lips at the worry in the mans voice as he called out. Junmyeon seemed irritated and unsure why the other had suddenly stopped his fingers midaction, leaving the male under him in an embarrassing state with open legs.

„Junmyeon“

„Yes Sehun-ah?“

„Thank you“

„For what exactly?“

„For talking to me, for helping me, for.. simply being here.“

There was a long and heavy silence. Sehun panicked. He thought that maybe he had said too much. Maybe he had given something away that he could be hurt with; maybe Junmyeon would laugh at him now, for being so naive and maybe.. maybe he missunderstood their relationship, if you could even call it like that, because the other just wanted to play, have some fun because working with mentally unstable was a nerve wrecking job. Surely Kim Junmyeon didn’t see this as anything serious; surely he would be disgusted of this idea even.

His hands had layed themself on Junmyeons shoulders and were now slowly closing up around the smaller males throat. He could kill the other and no one would ever hear of this, of his emotions, of his soft spot. But just then his hands loosened again, falling down in his lap; Sehun couldn’t do it, never. _How could he even think about this? How could he think about hurting the other?!_ Sehun hated himself again, like he did for three years, like he did since he-

 

**_"Sehun! I beg you!_ **

**_Stop, please! STOP!"_ **

 

„Sehun“ Junmyeons voice was serious and he sat up. „Sehun look at me...“ He didn’t. „Don’t run away again, Sehun! Stop running away. Stop hiding in your shell!“ Sehun felt crushed all of the sudden.

 

**_"Sehun, what are you doing?! Get off of him!_ **

**_You monster! How could you?!"_ **

 

Yes, Sehun was a monster. How could someone not hate him?

„Sehun do you know how happy I am right now?“ That caught the younger off guard and let him finally lock eyes with the other who now began smiling a little.

„You are finally talking again, real talking, speaking to me. I feel so happy I could die right now!" _Don't_ "Since the first day I saw you, I wanted to help you. You looked so lonely and scared that I... I don’t know when that emotion turned into more but now I am so glad that I took up the offer to concell you, I-.... Thank you.. I have to thank you for opening my eyes.“

Sehun just stared at him with unbelieving eyes. _Was Junmyeon feeling something more for him?_ This couldn’t be real; it had to be a dream! Everyone hated Sehun, was disgusted by him. He was a freak, a psycho.

„Sehun“ The older continued in a steady but quieter voice this time „Psychologists are supposed to be nothing but professional, especially in a institution like this one, with patients like you, but I couldn’t. I still can’t. I had to talk to a lot of people to still be able to work with you even when nobody agrees with my techniques and my state of emotion towards you.“ Small, warm hands caressed Sehuns cheeks and he leaned into the touch, too overwhelmed with what was going on. „And at this point I am feeling too much for you...“ There was short silence that layed itself on their shoulders, it was too much for the younger, who began shaking in fear of what would happen next. _Junmyeon would leave him, right? Of course he would. No one could feel comfortable in his presence for long. No one-_

„I... I am not allowed to concell you anymore.“ _There it was_ „I am not even allowed to see you anymore because the people in charge fear that I could trigger you to actions like the ones three years ago.. They don’t want to risk it anymo- ah“ The last word was cut off by a surprised groan as Sehun rocked against Junmyeon with a sudden roughness that had the other desperately gasp for breath. „Se- Sehun. What.. S- Stop“

 

_**"Stop, Sehun! Please!"** _

 

But Sehun didn’t stop. The moment, the unacceptable words had finally left the olders beautiful lips, Sehun couldn’t hold it in himself. He had believed everything would be better. He had believed the other would stay with him for the rest of his pathetic life in here. He had trusted the other to do that, but instead, he was let down again. Sehun couldn’t believe it. His length had filled out the male beneath him balls deep, fast, rough, painful, but Sehun was not able to controll his body nor his mind at this point. „Se- ah. Sehun! I- I beg you- ah. Sto- ngh“ He wanted to consider the smaller mans crys as moans, his shouting of Sehuns name as a sign of passion, dedication. Deep down he knew it wasn’t at all.

 

_**"You monster! What have you done?! I can’t believe you! I hate you!"** _

 

With a last groan, the slick and hot relieve filled Junmyeon, dripping down on the now messy blanket under the both of them. „Junmyeon.. I...“ And then the taller saw something in the corner of his eyes, red mixing with the white semen. _Blood?_ There was blood. Where did it come from? Sehuns nails were drimmed; the hard grip that his fingers had on Junmyeons hips, his thighs or arms, shouldn’t leave more than ugly red bruises. Sehun looked up at the face in front of him; Junmyeons features had contorted in pain, his lips trembled and his eyes were barely open, but locked with Sehuns own imidiatly. Tears had begun to form in the doctors eyes. The red drops, that ran down from between Junmyeons thighs, painted the sheet in the devils color and at that moment Sehun knew what was going on. Something graced his eyes and then his jaw then, distracting him from the horror. Junmyeon had stretched out his hand in attempt to brush away something hot that was running down Sehuns face. Was he crying? „Stop, Sehun. Please“ The olders voice sounded drained and cracked at the last word while his hands didn’t stop brushing the face above him in an almost gentle manner. „Please, stop crying, Sehun.“ _Everything shattered._

 

„Patient OS:A0023 I demand you to step away imidiatly!“ Something rough threw Sehun backwards. With a hard impact, he landed on the ground. For a moment his head was dizzy, there were too many voices, too many things going on around him all of the sudden and he was confused and terrified.

„Junmyeon! Junmyeon! Oh god no, what happened? That bastard!“ Sehun looked up from his position on the ground, only to see someone beside the doctor, who was now wrapping the tiny body in a blanket while talking to him in a hasty voice. Sehun wanted to stand up again _How dare that person to be so close to his Junmyeon!_ But he felt something cold poking his temple and when he looked around, guns were pointing down at him, signaling him not to move. „Put your guns down! You are gonna provoke him. He is going to feel cached.“ The familiar voice drew closer and a woman kneed down beside the patient. It was the nurse that always took care of him. Thea? Or what her name was again. „Stand up.“ Her strong arm heaved him to his legs.

„Junmyeon...“ Sehuns eyes had never left the doctors, still worried, still mortified at what happened, what he had done. „Don’t you dare, talk to him like that, you disgusting monster!“ The guy that stood beside his doctor, had a protective arm around him. _He stands too close! Take that arm away!_

„Yifan, please. It’s not what you think it is. Let me explain-"

„What is there to explain?! He raped you! Why didn’t you call help! You should be glad that I was patrolling at the moment or else-"

„Yifan, calm down! Everyone, please.“ Junmyeons voice sounded so raspy, so weak. And it was Sehuns fault. He fell to his knees, the arms of the nurse not able to stable him. „I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry“ He choked out, not even able to lift up his head. „I’m sorry, Junm-„

„Let’s get you out of here, I will carry you.“ The tall blonde man had taken Junmyeon bride like. That moment a fire spark in Sehuns heart. _Why did they call each other by the firts name without any honorifics? How close was this guy to Junmyeon?_

 

**_"Let’s get out of here -- I don’t want to see him again._ **

**_I’m going to call the police, Sehun."_ **

 

**_"You really are a psycho! Sick bastard. What did he ever do to you?!"_ **

**_"Just because he dumped you? What the fuck! How could I even be friends with someone like you? How did I not realize it sooner?"  
_ **

 

A moment were the guy beside him didn’t pay attention and Sehun jumped at him, his hands grabbing the gun that the other was holding. A loud noise and the man was down, red liquid streaming out of his body. Sehun used the sudden confusion around him to take down two others that ran in his way. Now the only thing that stood between that Yifan guy and him, was Junmyeon.

Noone moved, all the guns except his were pointed at him, waiting for the smallest move. „Let go of Junmyeon!“ Sehun demanded, his voice sounded so foreign in his ears, he really hadn’t used it much. „Sehun, calm down. Take down your gun, Sehun.“ Junmyeon looked so serious and sad at the same time, it irritated the younger.

„But-"

„Put the gun down. You are just making it more difficult.“

„But he’s touching you! He is not allowed to touch you!“

„Sehun.. that’s for me to decide.... Now, please. Look around you for a moment. Don’t worse the situation. I don’t want you to die!“

He wouldn’t die. He wanted to stay by Junmyeons side as long as possible.

Sehun dropped the gun. Seconds later, men were around him, cuffing him up, blocking the view on Junmyeon and the other guy. A piercing pain shot through Sehuns arm; then everything went black.

 

 

....

„What is going to happen to me now?“

The room he wake up to, was new to him. It was steril, white, blinding. The nurse -Thao, Sehun remembered- sat next to his bed. Her head whipped up as he spoke to her, had she been sleeping? „You’re awake?“ He didn’t gave the answer to an obvious question like this one and so after a short peace. „So you can really talk, huh.“ She answered with a grim smile. „It took you three years, though. Kim Junmyeon really had a good impact on you.“

„Where am I? What am I doing here?.. And where is Junmyeon? Is he feeling better? Is he ok?“ Sehun tried to sit up from the cushions but something hindered his limps from moving. His ankles, wrists, hip and forehead were tightly tied down.

„I guess I can explain now, wouldn’t change much either way...“ Something crossed the nurses face and hardening her expression, Sehun would pinpoint it as regret but didn’t know what to do with it. „You are in a special station at our cleaning hospital“ Sehun hadn’t heard of some _„special station“_ or _„cleaning hospital“_ so he just looked at Miss Thao, puzzeled. „Dr. Kim is feeling better, as far as I know. I don’t think you realized but you have slept for a bit more than a week now.“ Before the patient could speak up, he was already cut of with a firm shake of the nurses head „Let me continue, Sehun.“ _She had called him by his name? Since when did she do that?_ „He came to see you just some hours ago... Officially he is not allowed to but our head doctor -Dr. Zhang- is good friends with him so I guess that’s that...“ So many questions flew in Sehuns head. Everything was so confusing now.

„Why am I tied up like that?“

Silence. Miss Thao looked at him with a rather sad expression now. „What?... Why?... Answere me!“ Panic clouded his voice; Sehun started to move, wanted to break free, but was still feeling too numb in his bones to resist much.

„After your... Outbreak, a week ago... The higher ups decided to.... Not take any risk anymore. _ANY_ risk, for that matter. You are going to be taken care of in a rather.. absolute way.“

„You are going to kill me?“

„That’s a rather brutal way to say it... But yes.“

Thao waited for Sehuns answer and like that, some minutes passed in another complete silence until someone spoke up again. „Is it because of what I did to Junmyeon...“

„It was the beginning... With what you did to Dr. Kim, we would’ve brought you into the padded cell. But the reason to bring up such absolute meassures was your action afterwards. Do you remember those?“

„I shot people. Three. And I almost shot that other guy with Junmyeon.“

Sehun heard a snort next to him, which totally brought him out of his slumber of thoughts. The woman next to him was chuckling only for a second but still, she found her composure back though and put up her unreadable mask again. „Wu Yifan-sshi. The head officer of the partol in this institution. I’ve only heard rumors but he cares more for Dr. Kim than he should. The feelings were never returned, though. He.. He was the one that brought up the idea of ending your life to the CEOs by the way.“

Sehun felt anger bubble up but he never got to answer as the door to their right clicked shut and heavy foot steps came closer. Someone riped the curtain, that blocked Sehuns bed from the rest of the room, out of the way. The man, standing there in a white lab coat and styled back, black hair, had a clip board in his hands on which he had shortly wrote something down before adressing the person next to the bed. „Miss Thao, I advice you to stop gossiping so much with the patient for once. This will only make it harder for all of us.“ His voice was soft but the man, who looked surprisingly small next to the now standing nurse, had an authoritarian aura that made the nurse duck her head in an embarassed manner. „I apologize, Dr. Zhang-sshi.“

„Prepare anything for the procedure, now that he is awake, the men in position would want us to begin right away.“ Dr. Zhang looked at Sehun only for a moment, giving him a little smile. „I asume, Miss Thao already informed you about what will happen shortly.“ To which the younger only gave a curt nod. „Good..I beg my pardon. I wasn’t the one, making the orders and I’m nothing but sceptical about ending another persons life. But it is our job to do as told. I hope you understand.“

„I do.“

„Good.“

The woman came back a moment later, Sehun had closed his eyes to not see the preparations being made. He wanted to have some moments to himself before everything went down the river.

 

A bang brought Sehun back out of his thoughts. The starteled swear of the nurse and the freezing hand of the doctor on his arm, that had slot some thin valve inside his vein, made him open his eyes in attempt to see what was going on.

„Sehun!“

„Dr. Kim. Please stand back.“

„Why wasn’t I informed of this? Dr. Zhang, I demand an explanation right this moment!“

„Junmyeon...“ A smile spread on Sehuns face. _Junmyeon had come to him on his last moments of life. After everything that his patient had done to the doctor, he was still caring enough for him to come? Or did Junmyeon just want to see the life sucked out of Sehuns body, as revenge of the youngers actions the last time they meet? No.. Junmyeon is not like that. He is too kind, too caring, too selfless._

„Junmyeon, I’m sorry for all of this. It’s all my fault.“

 

_**I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Forgive me, please, I beg you to forgive me! Luhan please!  
** _

_**I shouldn’t have done this, I don’t know what got to me. I will change!** _

 

_**"Stop it! You monster, you killed him! Burn in hell you psycho! I don't want to see you ever again! Stay away! DIE!"** _

 

 Some guards that had stood beside the door, were now coming towards the doctor, holding him back from rushing over to the laying male. „What are you talking about, Sehun. It wasn’t your fault! It was mine. I should’ve been more considered of the situation, I should have told you sooner or at least after everything! I know you trusted me and I crushed that last hope. I am sorry!“

Dr. Zhang motioned for the guards to let go of the small man, who used that opportunity to hurry to the bed. One of his hands grabbed Sehuns tied up one, the other graced Sehuns features like the soft gestures he always did.

„I assume, you two need a moment“ Everyone turned to leave but Junmyeon spoke up again „Dr. Zhang, stay.“ His words sounded harsh and not at all polite but the other doctor didn’t seem to mind, only gestured for Miss Thao and the men to leave the room without him.

The psychologists eyes still looked at Sehun, his hands still touching the younger, but his voice spoke up to the other man in the room. „I ask you to cancel the procedure Dr. Zhang. The decision was too rushed and not at all thought through. I talked to the head patrol commander, Mr. Wu, and he admitted to not have acted rationally, but he still insisted in continuing the action.“

„Dr. Kim, I don’t agree with the decision 100% either but I have my orders and if me and my team aren’t going to carry out the action, then another team will. I have no control of that matter. I’m sorry“ The apology sounded more serious than the rest of what Dr. Zhang said.

„Yixing, you know that I can’t let this happen. This is inhuman! Killing people shouldn’t be allowed! He isn’t in fault.“

„Junmyeon. I’m sorry.... I.... The.. drug is already injected.. Until all of the medicine is in his blood system, he will be awake, after that he will dive into sleep comfortably. He's not going to feel anything. Don’t think about stopping the injection because like that he would only... die.. slower.. more painful...“ Zhang Yixing bowed down, deep and for a long time, his expression was that of full remorse, the same expression that Sehuns nurse had mirrowed just some minutes ago. _Almost as if they really cared. Maybe they really did care,_ but that thought was too complicated for Sehuns sleepy brain to understand.

„I will give you the needed time to say.. goodbye.“ And with that, the man left the room, leaving Sehun and Junmyeon alone.

„I didn’t mean for this to happen. It’s my fault. I am such a moron. I will never allow them to touch you, I promise, Sehun, I will never leave-" This was the second time that the younger had cut the mans rambling off, it send a deja vu through Sehuns brain. How ironic. „Junmyeon. It is not your fault! I was the one to blame I- I killed people“

„They pointed guns at you. You were provoked, out of your mind. Killing you isn’t the solution.“

„I am not only talking about a week ago...“ The doctors eyes widen in realization but Sehun only continued, he intervined his fingers with the smaller ones as the numbness of his body took over his brain. Tears, hot, salty tears landed on his face as Junmyeon bend over him, his lips brushing the youngers and then again and again and again. Junmyeons lips were as warm as anything else about him, it made Sehun smile a bit.

„I.. I remember. I remember now. You did your job right. You helped me. Thank you. You did everything you could, don't feel sorry, I should.“

Kim Junmyeons answering voice became fainter among the loud rush of the blood in his ears. The last thing he heard, though, sounded louder to him than anything else.

„I think I.. I love you, Sehun! Don't leave me!“

 

 ....

**_"I’m sorry Sehun... I didn’t want for it to happen! I swear I was in denial for so long but I.. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t hide my feelings for him. I am sorry for doing this to you, I am a horrible boyf- I am a horrible person"_ **

**_Do you... Do you love him more than me? Do you even still love me? Luhan, look at me!_ **

**_"I am sorry."_ **

 

....

 

**_„Yes? How can I help-„_ **

**_You fucking bastard! Don’t you dare, taking Luhan away from me!_ **

**_„S- Sehun, what are you doing here?!“_ **

**_This asshole is going to pay!_ **

**_„Wh- What? Argh- ngh- Sto-„_ **

**_„Minseok! Oh god, Sehun let go of him! Stop! I beg you, Sehun! Please!“_ **

**_He has to pay for taking you away from me! It’s all his fault! I WILL KILL HIM!_ **

**_„SEHUN STOP! LET GO YOU MONSTER! I will call the police!“_ **

 

...

 

**_„Sick bastard tried to kill the new lover of his ex.“_ **

**_„The victim even died, too much blood loss or he was strangled to death or something like that.“_ **

**_„God he’s fucked up, I heard he always had aggression problems. Hah, only a matter of time for a psycho like him to explode.“_ **

**_„People like these should be killed before they reproduce their own fucked up children.“_ **

 

...

 

**_„You are patient OS:A0023 right? Oh Sehun?“_ **

**_..._ **

**_„I will call you Sehun, if that’s ok with you, yeah?“_ **

**_...._ **

**_„You don’t talk too much right, well I guess you don’t have a lot of people to talk to in here anyway..“_ **

**_....._ **

**_„If you ever feel lonely, just call for me ok? The guards at the door are already informed. I’m Dr. Kim or Kim Junmyeon, but you can call me Junmyeon if you want.“_ **

**_... Ok_ **

 

It was lifesaving.


End file.
